hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
