I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
