6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
