I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
