Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
