my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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