Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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