Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
