sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
