At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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