Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
