An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
