i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
