I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
