"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
