wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
