She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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