I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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