yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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