i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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