He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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