New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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