i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
