so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
