Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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