Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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