I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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