I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
