I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
