Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize