Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize