I hope mine doesn't look like that
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
