Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
