Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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