Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
