think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
