Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize