I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
