I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
