stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
