yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize