im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
