Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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