they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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