fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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