none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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