I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
