i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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