you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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