She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
