that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
