Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
