so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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