Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
