why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
