Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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