It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
