One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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