Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
