Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
