one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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