lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Be still, my beating vagina.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
