The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
