You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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