i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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