what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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