I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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