He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
