I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
