Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
