Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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